


Sausage Heist: Mission #69

by Kitahara_Rei



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Horny Kotobuki Reiji, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Ranmaru being a good boyfriend, there's a lot of food involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitahara_Rei/pseuds/Kitahara_Rei
Summary: Reiji's back at it again, trying to get Ranmaru to give him what he wanted, but it seemed like nothing was going his way today.Also, food may or may not be involved.
Relationships: Kotobuki Reiji/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Sausage Heist: Mission #69

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahahaha- I'm sorry. It's just a ridiculous pwp (but not really) fic
> 
> Also my friend drew me a [meal](https://pineappuu-pineappley.tumblr.com/post/615367042549383168/so-im-laying-there) for this fic so please go take a look at her art it's a masterpiece

"Mmm, smells so good."

Reiji had his face buried at the back of Ranmaru's neck, nuzzling the fine hairs that are sticking out at odd-angles. He smelled musky, like he had just rolled out of bed (he did, literally) and some type of meat smell that constantly clinged onto him. To be specific, he smelled like sausages now, the kind that was cooking in the pan he was holding over the stove.

"Reiji, they're going to burn." With his body pressed flush against his boyfriend, he could feel the vibrations with every word Ranmaru spoke. "Reiji," he said, this time a little firmer. Oh, to hear his name said like that... Reiji inhaled deeply, hoping that the sizzling noises covered it up. It was far too early in the morning for him to be this h-

"Oi, are you falling asleep on my back?" Quite the contrary actually; his fella was very much awake, but Ranmaru didn't need to know that. Reiji blew gently into his ear, grinning when Ranmaru flinched and grab his ear. He stepped backwards before Ranmaru decided to swing around with the spatula, instead choosing to stand beside his boyfriend. Who was wearing his Kotobuki bento apron, now that he just noticed.

"What'cha be cooking there, hmm? Sausages for breakfast?"

Ranmaru let out a noise of affirmation. He scooped them off the pan, dumping them onto the plates sitting beside the stove, then turned to hand Reiji a plate. The lights in the kitchen might be dim (thank you, early morning) but it did nothing to hide how beautifully gray Ranmaru's eyes were. Or the sharp angles of his very handsome face, or his very, very kissable l-

"Are you gonna eat or not?" Reiji was snapped out of his stupor, blinking up at Ranmaru. He had his brows furrowed together as he held out a plate of food to him. The smell of eggs and sausage made his stomach growl, but oh boy, was there something else he craved. But one thing at a time. Breakfast first.

Ranmaru was already digging in heartily, taking big bites from his meal. Reiji slid in next to him, picking away at the corner of his eggs, contemplating his plan. His boyfriend's attention was focused completely on his food; there was no point in doing anything now until he was done eating. Reiji ate his eggs, watching him carefully.

The moment he saw Ranmaru put his fork down onto the plate, Reiji launched his plan. He shifted ever so slightly to catch Ranmaru's attention, picking the sausage up with the fork. Once he successfully had Ranmaru's eyes on him, he brought the end of the wiener to his lips, pressing them against the warm tip. His tongue flicked out playfully, watching as Ranmaru narrowed his eyes at him. Good. He needed to get Ranmaru into the mood, and then, he would get his second hunger satiated. He looked back down at the sausage, grinning. It was a thick, meaty one, and his mouth would fit really good around it, just like Ranmaru's-

...And in his wild fantasies generated by his libido, Reiji completely forgot that the sausage had left the pan barely minutes ago. With his tongue and mouth scalded, he dropped the mostly-empty plate, thankfully most of the contents remaining within the plate. Unfortunately, his breakfast wiener was lost to the ground.

"What's up with you? You're so distracted." Ranmaru placed the plate to the side before turning a concerned gaze onto him. It was a rare sight of Ranmaru that many people didn't get to see, and Reiji liked to keep it that way. "Let me see."

"Ran-Ran, I scalded my tongue," he whined, pulling out his pout, poking his fingers together, "it hurts... Can you kiss it better?" Seeing that the frown hadn't left Ranmaru's forehead, Reiji dropped the cutesy act. It never really worked on his boyfriend before. "Ha, just kidding. I'm..."

Ranmaru had reached over to tilt his chin up. The rest of whatever he was going to say was stuck in his throat as Ranmaru leaned in, and the only thing he could focus on was how warm Ranmaru's breath was on his face, on how soft his lips were as they touched for the briefest moment and the smell of those accursed sausages. He felt the caress of a thumb on his cheek, then Ranmaru was leaning back, regarding him carefully. "Better?" he asked, voice soft.

Oh God, his boyfriend was so sweet, but it did nothing to help the tightening in his pants. He forced out a grin. "Much better. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"That's good. Wait here, I'll go make you more eggs." Reiji was about to tell him that, no, it was all right, but Ranmaru had already taken the plate from and returned to the kitchen.

=====

Reiji had been restless the whole morning, pacing about the house, tidying up their shared space, but not really. There was something turning and coiling within him that ate away at his attention span, and he kept glancing over at Ranmaru, wanting to just scratch that itch and get it over with. He could just do it himself, but it wasn't as good or satisfying.

But it seemed like everything he did was failing him. The usual teasing didn't rile him up (it seemed like Ranmaru was more concerned for his well-being, which Reiji found really cute, but little Reiji Jr. did not), and Ranmaru was so busy with preparing for solo concert next week that they barely had enough time to sit down and talk. His boyfriend looked so concentrated that Reiji felt bad for interrupting him.

It was their rare off-day together and Reiji was in a terrible mood.

"Ran-Ran, what do you want for lunch?" Ranmaru didn't reply so he took out a packet of what Ranmaru liked to call 'a bunch of grass', a couple more vegetables and fruits to mix together.

He paused as he reached out for the next vegetable, his mind screeching into a halt at how its phallic shape reminded him of something that he was aching for so badly. Six inches long, its outer edges were smooth with the occasional rough bumps, but it was cold to the touch. He held it in his hands, looking over at Ranmaru, whose eyes were still glued to the paper in his hands. Maybe he could...but no. It wouldn't be the same. (He knew from experience that it wasn't enough for him, leaving him yearning for something more. It wasn't a replacement for his hot boyfriend.)

The knife sliced it clean in half, hitting the chopping board with a clean thud. No, he would stay strong. Reiji wasn't going to give in just yet, not until he got what he wanted from Ranmaru.

Which was taking entirely too long, in his opinion.

Finally, his boyfriend decided to join him at the table for lunch the moment Reiji put the last piece of the salad together. He made a side of mashed potatoes and fried chicken to accompany it, placing it down in front of his boyfriend. "Thanks," Ranmaru said with a small smile.

"Want some ranch?" Reiji asked, offering him the sauce bottle. His eyes couldn't help but to watch Ranmaru take it from him, shaking it good before popping the cap open, giving it a good, hearty squeeze.

The sauce came splurting out onto the lettuce, splattering white upon the green leaves, dripping down the veins, the thick droplets sliding down into the deeper valley of the vegetable. Ranmaru pressed onto the plastic bottle a few more times, frowning when nothing else came out. He unscrewed the cap, laying an abundant layer of sauce onto his vegetables, coating them in a lustrous white thickness. It reminded Reiji of an exciting time a few nights ago.

"God, I wish that was me." He hadn't realised that he said it out loud until he noticed Ranmaru was giving him a strange look.

"You want some? Give me your plate."

Not the kind he wanted all over his face, but his salad would be kind of tasteless without it. "No, it's all right," he said, reaching out to take the bottle from him. A bright idea flashed into his mind.

Somehow or another, he 'accidentally' fumbled and ended up spilling some of it over his hand. He brought his sauce-covered fingers to his mouth to lick it clean, savouring the tanginess. Making eye contact with Ranmaru across the table, he brought them back to his lips again, this time for a deeper cleanse, driving his tongue into the deeper corner between his digits. He didn't miss the way that Ranmaru's grip had tightened around his fork, nor the way he kept trying to keep his eyes on the food in front of him, only for his gaze to wander back up.

Yes, this was it, right there. Just one more little push and he would be riding out that victory lap on, haha, Ranmaru's-

A very familiar tune rang out between them. He placed the offender as Ranmaru's mobile phone, the device vibrating happily on the wooden table. "Sorry, it's..." Ranmaru said, glaring down at the phone. The longer Reiji heard his own song, the faster his al dente noodle was becoming soggy.

"No, no, it's all right, I understand," Reiji said, waving it off. The moment Ranmaru went off to the bedroom to talk on the phone, Reiji stabbed his salad leaf in frustration.

When Ranmaru emerged from their shared bedroom wearing his jacket, Reiji almost weeped. "I'll be back late," he said, tucking the keys into his pocket, slinging the guitar case over his shoulder. "Don't wait up for me."

"Wait, Ran-Ran, I'll pack your lunch up first," Reiji said, moving to get one of the lunch boxes. "You can eat it when you get there."

With it wrapped securely in a bag, he handed it over to Ranmaru. His boyfriend bent down to give him a peck on the lips before smiling. Oh, that smile melted his heart, though it jump-started his engine into life. "Thanks. Sorry, work is just..."

"Go, or you'll be late. Text me when you're done, all right?"

They shared one more kiss, then Ranmaru was gone. Reiji threw his hands up into the air.

=====

"Oi, Reiji, I told you not to wait up for me. What do you mean by having dessert-"

Ranmaru stopped in the doorway, confusion immediately setting onto his features, clearly not expecting to see the sight before him, laying on the bed covered in rose petals. Said sight was drawing hearts on his chest with barbecue sauce, smearing his masterpiece with his finger.

"Ran-Ran, are you hungry?" Reiji greeted casually, as if he didn't have the large words 'EAT ME' splayed across his chest in dark sauce. In his excitement to see his boyfriend, he accidentally splattered more, and now it was sliding down his side. Cold; he wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it was worth the look that Ranmaru was giving him now.

It had taken him a painstakingly long time to get the words right, and he liked the sexy touch that the heart-shaped ring of sauce around his nipples gave. All in all, it was a masterpiece.

If only Ranmaru would stop just standing there and come over to ravage him already. He had been waiting for this the entire day, and he was already at his limit. Reiji was pretty sure the 'EAT ME' was a very direct message that was 100% idiotproof. If Ranmaru didn't get the message, he was going to get that banana himself.

Then Ranmaru decided to burst out laughing at that very moment. "Why didn't you just...ask? No wonder you've been so weird the whole day."

Reiji made a strangled noise before covering his face with his hands. "It's embarrassing!"

His boyfriend gestured to him and the bed covered in petals, then back at the fifteen candles (and the number 6 and 9 candles he bought from the party store; a nice touch, he thought) he had lit around the room. "And this isn't?"

Reiji swore under his breath. "Oh God, just end me already," he groaned. His ears were burning, and suddenly all his efforts seemed foolish. He only had one thing on his mind all day, all right? "Preferably with your- Mmmph!"

He was too focused on wallowing in his own dumbassery that he hadn't noticed Ranmaru approaching until his tongue was in his mouth. When he pulled back, their spit linking a bridge between them, Reiji melted at the heated look that Ranmaru was giving him with his dark-lined eyes, the desire burning behind them. It was as if a switch within his boyfriend had been flipped, and now, he was going to get eaten by Ranmaru.

And he would let him, gladly, with open arms (and open legs).

\-----

As he lay there in bed with his entire body feeling like mush, Ranmaru leaned over to kiss his forehead. He looked so handsome with his hair messy from their tussle. "So? What was my dessert?"

Affronted, Reiji gave him a look (well, as much of a look he could give in the room with the lights off). He could tell that Ranmaru was joking from how his shoulders were shaking from silent laughter, so with the last bit of his energy, he swatted at Ranmaru. His boyfriend's response is to pull him closer with his arms wrapped around him.

"You know you can just ask me next time," Ranmaru breathed into his ear, "instead of going this roundabout way."

He was tempted to elbow back, but it was so comfortable, he didn't want to give it up so soon. "But that's not as fun."

Ranmaru chuckled, and Reiji could feel it on his back. "True."

They lay there in the silence, until Reiji was convinced that Ranmaru was fast asleep from how even his breathing became. It was too embarrassing to plain out ask Ranmaru, unlike what his boyfriend kept insisting. Also, it was way more fun to rile him up, since Ranmaru tend to be gentle at times, unlike what his outer appearance seemed to be. Reiji appreciated how he was being treasured, but he liked things a little...spicier.

He closed his eyes, drifting off into sleep.

Until the time when he would plan his next sausage heist. Oh, Ranmaru wouldn't know what hit him.


End file.
